Sexuality and the Alexander Technique

Everyone wants to have great sex, but how often do we stop and ask ourselves, what is great sex? What makes one lover great and another not-so-great? Chemistry? Yes. Skill and technique? Yes, that too. But that’s not all.

Great sex is more than technique. One partner may move fluidly, yet strongly, and another may touch you stiffly, and with not nearly enough strength to satisfy you. In the context of S/M, one Top wields a whip with a resounding thud while another’s lashings fall flat. Even in kissing, even with the same partner—one day his kisses are sweet and full, another day they may feel hasty and stiff. Then there’s the lover who feels sensations throughout the body and who treats you to full bodied explorations as well as fabulous genital sensations? This is the lover who seems fully present: more there with you and more aware of you.

These differences come from the quality of a lover’s movement and presence. Movement feels organic, rather than choreographed, when it comes from a body that is awake and inhabited. Stillness can feel full and alive. When someone is centered and embodied, she has an awareness of what is happening in the present moment. She has a sense of aliveness coursing through her whole self. Awareness of our whole selves during sex is not typical for most of us—we usually experience only a portion of what is sensually and sexually possible. (We think about being grounded when we have to give a speech or when we get ready for an athletic event, but what about when we make love?)

We often feel parts of ourselves rather than the whole; we focus on the genitals and leave out the all-over focus, which enhances the whole experience.For example, tensing and contracting are instinctual responses we have during sex—orgasm is a series of contractions—but we can prolong and expand the whole sexual experience by opening and softening during arousal as well as during the contractions of orgasm.

By teaching you how to access a grounded, embodied sense of self, the Alexander Technique can greatly enhance and refine your sexuality. Lessons are always fully clothed. We work on refining the proprioceptive and kinesthetic senses and experiencing varying qualities of state of being and movement. As a fully embodied lover, you can consciously broaden your sexual and sensual experiences.